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Thursday, October 22, 2009

Hmm.

Well, I have been having a good time the past couple weeks. I've met a couple new people and I have had a blast getting to know them. Ha! Kenny is officially stalking me. We have soo much in common. It really creeps me out sometimes... They have been becoming more and more like best friends to me. Too bad my parents don't like me being friends with Juniors. Let alone BOY juniors. Lol. But like that stops me. I still find times to chill with them. On the other hand, my best friend and I have been having a bit of issues. Brianna, my "husband", turned fifteen last weekend. Congrats to her and her success through her tough stage in life... I just got my report card in. My hard work has been paying off. 4.14 GPA!! Nothing to compare with Tyler's 5.0 GPA... I still have a hard time believing that. Dance has been going great... Mrs. Henning wanted to bump me up to the Presicion Dance Co., but the Company has already choreographed so much... I'm in a group dance, and a class dance, and an outside piece. In ROTC my sargeant and major have been leaving me with more resposibilities... Teaching students to march, flank, fall in, column, etc. Despite all my luck lately, I feel a bit empty... Hopefully things will turn around soon enough...

Sunday, August 30, 2009

I Regret It!

Today, I friends over... Mikenzie and Bri. But, they decided to surprise me with Derek. I want to cry right now. I never see him at school, so I forgot him. He was almost completely erased from my memory. But today refreshed everything I loved about him. God dammit- I can't believe I fell for his act... He played it so good. It was effortless to sit there with him. I wish he didn't come, cause now I'm here. Crying. Again. And I have to start over from scratch. I have to forget him. Again. And I'm sitting here venting to James, again. He always seems to be online when I need him most.... I just want to crawl up into the feedle position and break down to little pieces. Why would they ever put me in that position? I was soooo happy when he got here, now wish I never met him. I wish there was a way to tell him how regretful I feel about EVERYTHING! How much I wish none of it happened. I have always said I would NEVER regret loving him. But right now, I regret everything. It's so... so... infuriated, depressed, dirt cheap, etc. I don't even want to see him again. I don't think I've ever felt so strongly about anything.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

I just have to try... Wriiten at 7:45 am 8/18/08

I think I finally realized what I did to him. I was such a bitch. I feel so sorrry for the wrong I did him. It kills me to think about it. I cried again. This year, I wanna change. I wanna be nice like Ana Morris:) I don't wanna let my friends out of my grasp. And, I wanna thank Mikenzie Marie Campbell. She was the only one who ever saw me shed a tear for him. She was the only one I could talk to about him. She was the only one who saw the weakness that fled through my eyes day-in and day-out. And I wanna thank Joey Allen Taylor for helping me find myself. The week that I've spoken to him made me realize what a nice person I really can be. Because for some reason I talk to him differently than all of my friends, and for some reason I feel like I can talk to him about anything. Last night I told him I wanted him to help me through this. Last night I cried. Last night, I found a little bit more of myself. I wish I could say I won't cry over him again, but I can't. I will cry for him. Cause he was my life support. It took me awhile before I could get back on my feet and face school. He will never know the way he kept me on my feet. He has only been there for 9 months, but damn, he was there through a lot for that short amount of time. He was the greatest friend I ever had. It did teach me a lesson when he left. And, I would do anything to get him back, but I cant\: Maybe one day I will forget Derek Rojas permanantly. Forget the way he made me smile, forget the way he laughed, forget his jokes, forget every secret he ever told me, forget every phase of friendship I ever discovered with him, forget the way he always got what he wanted, forget the way he told me I was a dumb blonde, forget the dumb expressions that made me giggle, forget the way I could tell him anything, forget the way I felt at home when he was close. But most importantly, forget all the feelings and emotions I felt for him. I don't know if I can forget ANY of those, but I have to try.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Freshmann!

Dude, I wanna scream my head off. Dude, the dumb school put me in Art?! Wtf? I can't even draw a straight. Why would I sign up for Art? I signed up for photography! Art wasn't even an alternate. I'm so pissed! >:-[ I got Dance both semesters. Thats why I did sign up for. And student aide for Ms. Martinez... Hmmm. I don't even know how I'm gonna handle that. I wish that I got Cook:( I miss him. I want school to start already! Freshmann! Whoo! It's my last year of this dumb place. I will miss some things. I don't even know what highschool that I want to go to. I might go to Red Mountain with Bri... I wanna go there but its so complicated. All my friends are going to Skyline. I don't even know what college I wanna go to!

Crazy Stuff

Last night I got in a huge fight with my best friend, Derek. He told me to stop texting him and such. I have never cried so hard in my life. He called me a spoiled brat. I didn't even know who to talk to. Mikenzie is in New Mexico and Bri is the last person i wanted to talk to. I actually considered getting a hold of my ex cause we had just recently made up. But, I didn't want to seem awkward and go to him with my problems. Psh, yeah right. I bawled myself to sleep. I just wanted Mikenzie to be there with me. But she wasn't. My poor dog was woken up several times. When I woke up this morning around 10:30, I got on Myspace. Right after I signed into Yahoo, my ex signed in. I was debating on whether to message him or not. I'm glad I did. I told him that I was so upset last night that I considered texting him. He asked if that was a bad thing. I wasn't sure. Haha. So I told him about it. He gave me great advice. I'm really thankful I told him. He has changed for the better. Our conversation wasn't over so he gave me his number. And then i remembered something that Mikenzie told me something he told her a long time ago. She told me that he called her real late one night and told her I had way wide feet but my big toe was cute?! I cracked up soooooo hard! I HAD to ask him about it. He said,"i never told her that she is crzy" Haha. I'm so glad me and him are okay now. I think he's being too nice to me. After all the horrible things I've done to him....

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Happy(late) Birthdday to me:)

Well, today I went to the mall with Bri. I went to Aeropostale and bought some cute panties:) Haha. happy birthday to me. happy birthday to me! Happy birthday dear Taylerrrrr, happy Birthday to mee:)) Thankyou Derek! Haha... Speaking of him, I haven't talked to him in like a week. I miss him:'( JEEZ! bri just scared the crap outta me! haha:)

Sunday, July 5, 2009

The Move

Well, Steph and Jerod got in a fight. It was pretty crazy. So she is going to move back into our house. She was pretty upset. I have never seen Jerod raise his voice like that. Poor Caleb... He isn't going to get to grow up with a loving father. So now I'm waiting for Stephanie to pack her stuff for the night... Ugh. I wanna leave.

Fourth of July Weekend...

Well, on July 3rd my family went up tp Showlow. That consisted of Mom, Dad, Dotti, Stephanie, Chris, Daniel, Caleb, Steve, Tim, Chad, and I. Then the dogs, Rue, Jill, Bogie, Tug, Sugar, Poco, and Mo. Plus, the goats, P1, P2, and Coffeebean. And the 6 cows. I drove up with Stephanie. When we got there, we had to wait for mom and dad. Then Chris, Dan, and Dotti along with Steve, Tim, and his friend Chad. Oh my god. Chad was sooooo annoying. Like, you have no idea. He had a wise comment for everything that was said... He got annoying. I finally just threw a punch. He's lucky that he knows how to protect his balls. Muahaha:) He just made that day drag on and on. Finally he just quit talking all together. Then after the campfire, I went to bed. Rue sleeps with me. She was perfectly fine, then she efn puked on my bed! DISCUSTING! So i had to grab a new comforter. About an hour later she puked again! I'm like, WHAT THE HELL!? So I grabbed another blanket. She started gagging and I'm like, Ohhhhh No! and I threw her off my bed. I finally got to bed, and woke up at 7:30... Ugh. The second day we had a reeaaalllyy good breakfast:) yummmm. We chopped wood, and cleared space for a fence. We put up an electric fence around our fruit trees. That took up most of our time. Chad got on my nerves AGAIN! Ughh. We started a campfire and I went to bed early. Rue didn't sleep with me. yeah right. Like i was gonna let that happen. Today i woke up at 6:30 and got in the car and left with my sister. I fell asleep and I woke up when we pulled over. I said, What are we doing. She said, I got pulled over. I looked behind me and there he was. In his little cop car. He told us we were going 86 MPH! 21 miles over speed limit. Criminal speed. Luckily, he was a nice police officer. He put us at 75 and she has to go to driving school. When we i got to stephanie's house i watched So You Think You Can Dance:) I'm getting ready to leave after Stephanie takes a shower. Were gonna go to the car wash and then Jamba Juice or something. Whatever:)

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Ugh...

Dude, I'm soooo bored right now. I really wish school wasn't out. The summer days just drag on. i SHOULD be working on a summer project but i really don't feel like it. I'm three reports behind! Ugh.... I took my nails off today and I can finally type again:) Well, I wanna get into a good college so I guess I better do my project. PEACE!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Hannah's Prize

Dude! Today i went riding in a stretch Hummer! First we went to an icecream place, then we drove to Mill Avenue. When we were listening to 101.5 they announced there location and we went to meet them! We drove up and you could see them laughing. When everybody got off Strawberry was like, "Woah! How many people are on that thing!? DAAAAAAAANG!" He was so cuute! :D He took pictures with us! Hopefully they are posted on the website! Then when we all left, we went back. Then I realized that the guy I was sitting across from in the limo looked like a real old friend. He was wayy cute:) Thats the highlight of my day!

Monday, June 15, 2009

My Weekend!

Well, on Saturday I had to wait all day to see my best friend in the world. I haven't seen him in like 2 or 3 weeks! It killed me to have to wait that long. When he finally got to the party I gave him a huge hug. I did not want to let go! But everyone was around and i didn't want to make a scene. Especially with Hannah sitting right there! She wants me and Derek to date so bad! My party was great. I got great gifts from all my friends. Derek an i had so much fun together too! I have to say it was the best day ever. He got me a gift card for my favorite store! Aeropostale! YES!!! hahaha! The funniest part was that he put on my 6 inch heels and started walking! I got a video of that! Pretty fricken hilarious if you ask me! When he had to leave i practically died! I gave him a huge hug... Then the girls who stayed the night made the night wild! We kept daring Heather Strzalka to do stuff. In all, she licked a toilet seat, drank a shot of goat milk, prank called 3 people, and something else that she would not like me to mention. It was so hilarious! Her new names are Skippy/ Ms. Cameltoe'. Bri's is Rosearita. Hannah's is Captain Crunch. Mikenzie's is Ragu. And mine is El Pato! It was hilarious! We finally went to bed around 4. The next day we ate biscuits and gravy for breakfast. Yummmmmmmmmm! Everyone left around 1. Then i was talking to Derek last night and asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. Guess what? he wants to be a firefighter! I totally support that! My dad is a firefighter, and i used that as an excuse for derek to come over more often:) He wants to go to U of A.... Honestly, i REALYY want to get into Dartmouth. It's good to dream right?? Today i went and helped my sister babysit. Then i just got back from the nail salon with bri. Its really hard for me to type with these. Haha. Well that was my fantabulous weekend:)

Thursday, June 4, 2009

A Place

A little house
With a little room
It’s a happy place
A place of refuge
It’s a place to scream
A place to play
a place to dream
The little green room
Is a place to create memories

I remember the big pink room
That room was full of hope
Was full of feelings and love
It has been full of hurt and despair
Those rooms have given a lot
The emotions created and ended,
Have engraved that house

My Story

So, guess what? I decided to do something over the summer! I'm going to attempt to write a book. or somewhat of one. Its about a girl who moves and falls in love with a boy she meets at school. But when her family decides to move back to Virginia, what shall she do?

My Flat Face Story

So, I was at my friends house and we were getting ready to fall asleep. I brought up how flat my face was. Then she asks, "Didn't your mom get in a car crash and get surgery and that's why you have a flat face??"
I said, " No you dummy! Surgery doesn't cahnge the traits you pass onto your offspring!"

Haha! Good times. Mikenzie needs intelligence:)